


The Children's Hour

by OracleGlass



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Babysitting, Be_compromised Secret Santa 2012, Established Relationship, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Kid Clint Barton, Kid Fic, Kid Natasha Romanov, Mission Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-10
Updated: 2013-01-10
Packaged: 2017-11-24 08:55:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/632640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OracleGlass/pseuds/OracleGlass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The Avengers Homeschooling Initiative. Fury will shit bricks."</p><p>When a simple mission somehow goes awry, the Avengers are left to tend to a pair of tiny former SHIELD agents while they try to find a solution.</p><p>Written for the Be_Compromised 2012 Secret Santa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Children's Hour

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jacedesbff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacedesbff/gifts).



“You have GOT to be kidding me.”

Tony’s voice, caught at some awkward pitch between horrified and hysterical, was audible despite the loud chopping whine of the SHIELD helicopter’s rotors. Fury, momentarily distracted, swiveled around to spear him with a glare that was so frigid it should have caused snow flurries. He then turned his back and returned his gaze out of the glass-enclosed room to the landing pad as the helicopter wobbled down for a landing. 

“That’s what Hill told me, Stark,” he said curtly. “We’re about to see for ourselves.”

A pause, then the side of the helicopter slid back and several people appeared, silhouetted in the doorway. The tallest figure was clearly Maria Hill, sleek in tactical fatigues, but unburdened with any weapons, even her sidearm. Despite the distance and the heat haze from the engines, her carefully neutral face was evident. Whatever was wrong, she was holding it together.

Hill had been off somewhere in the Pacific Northwest on a routine assignment. Romanov and Barton had been dispatched out there as well, but neither one of them had seemed too concerned. Barton had rolled his eyes and said something under his breath about plenty of time to get some reading in. Natasha had retorted with a jab about comic books not counting as reading, and the two of them had trailed after Maria, arguing about the graphic novel as a literary form.

Now, here was Maria, back again and accompanied by two tiny figures - two tiny figures that looked familiar - but in absolutely the worst way. They headed for the doors, Maria protecting the two children from the backwash of the chopper blades.

The girl looked to be about five. Her red hair was caught back in a lumpy ponytail, and her delicately pointed face had a mulish expression that promised tears, and soon. She wore a man’s plain white undershirt that came down to her knees, which had been clumsily belted with something that bore a familiar red emblem on the buckle.

The boy was a few years older, perhaps seven or so. He was in a similar white shirt, and a pair of floral shorts that looked like they may have been someone’s swim trunks. They were far too big for him, and he held them up as best he could. It was a difficult process, because he was also doing his best to tote an oversized bow that he struggled to keep from dragging on the ground.

“Holy fucking shit,” Tony said, under his breath.

*****

Fury and Stark stepped through the doors onto the landing pad as Maria and the children approached. She saw Fury and halted awkwardly in front of him, clearly at a loss.

“Sir, I...”

“Why are they dressed like that?” Tony broke in.

Maria sent a harried look in his direction. “Their own clothes were too big, and they were shredded anyway...we had to raid Anderson’s locker...”

Fury growled, and everyone’s attention focused on him, including the children. “Hill. What the hell happened out there? Explain why two of my agents are back in elementary school.”

Maria snapped to attention. “Sir. We don’t know. This was supposed to be a routine surveillance job. Barton and Romanov were in a perch in the mountains. Their comm devices shorted out, a distress beacon triggered, and we sent in a rescue team to find...”

She gestured mutely at the two children that had, just a few days earlier, been the entirely adult Hawkeye and Black Widow. They looked back up at her, uncertain. Tears were starting to roll down Natasha’s face, and Maria’s mouth tightened.

“I need to get them warm and fed, sir. Medic checked them out on the flight, but they’re obviously cold and hungry.” Fury returned a tight, angry nod, and she crouched down to talk to the children. “We’re going to get you some hot cocoa, guys. Just like I promised.”

The little boy that had been adult, swaggering Clint, nodded blankly, clearly at the end of his resources. He took Natasha’s hand, and the two of them followed Maria as she led them into the building.

Tony turned to Fury. “Loki?”

“You know what I know, Stark. Which means neither us know a damn thing. But I’m counting on you and the rest of the team to find out and fix it.”

“Wait. They’re...kids. And they’re kid-kids, right? Not adults in kid bodies? Are you telling me to babysit? This tower is not childproofed! I have entire floors filled with dangerous things!”

“I. Don’t. Know. Stark.”

Fury turned the full force of his one good eye onto Tony, who involuntarily stepped backwards a pace. “We’re going to find out now, together. And I’m not going to let two kids rattle around SHIELD HQ. Despite what you just saw, Maria is not your nanny, she’s my right hand, and I need her undistracted. They’re your teammates and they need your help. You’ve got a staff full of geniuses here, put them to work.”

Maria was almost inside the building now. The threatened tantrum had started - Natasha’s tiny face screwed up and a thin, piercing wail wafted through the doors. 

Tony was already dialing Pepper.

*****

They were, in fact, kid-kids. Tony had been crossing his fingers that the adult Clint and Natasha were in there, just temporarily locked into children’s bodies, but Natasha’s tears had been only the first indication that somehow, the pair had been de-aged in all senses of the word. They didn’t know who anybody was, they certainly weren’t incredible super-spies in tiny packages, and they didn’t remember anything beyond Maria Hill picking them up from the bank of an Oregon river. Fortunately, SHIELD tracking devices had automatically triggered, resulting in the rescue mission.

The two kids were seated on a sofa, their legs dangling. Blankets had been produced and draped around them. Hot chocolate was postponed in favor of small warm cups of chicken noodle soup which the children sipped while Darcy and Jane, Stark’s black Amex in hand, made a run to the nearest department store to buy out their stock of children’s clothing.

Whether it was weariness or something else, the kids were difficult to read, blank slates like amnesia victims in improbable thrillers. Plus, none of the team was exactly knowledgeable about kids - or at least so Tony assumed. But when Thor came into the room, Tony was forced to revisit his assumptions. Thor took one look at Natasha, her sobs now changed to hiccups and occasional shuddery wails, and solved the problem by fetching her a foil pack of Pop Tarts and sitting on the floor in front of her, soothing her in a low, comforting tone. She had accepted the gift with regal dignity and a thank-you in a voice that held much more of a Russian accent than her adult self. She apparently understood English, which didn’t make sense - surely Natasha hadn’t spoken anything but Russian at the age of five.Then again, who knew what being turned into children did to people? It's not like there were rules.

Thor took out a handkerchief (which made Steve blink - he hadn’t known anyone else on the team shared his penchant for the things in this age of Kleenex) and dabbed at the tear tracks that stained Natasha’s face. She gave a final hiccup, handed Clint one of the Pop Tarts, and then ate hers in four bites. Thor stayed sitting on the floor in front of them, and they seemed relieved to have him there as a buffer between them and the rest of the unknown adults, who were all doing their best not to stare but mostly failing. All except for Tony, that is. He was pacing in agitation at the margins of the room, talking to Pepper about the logistics of two kids in a building packed with weaponry and unstable chemicals. Pepper was talking him out of hiring a fleet of nannies.

Thor turned to the rest of the room. “I do not scent Asgardian magics on them. If my brother is responsible, he has done it through some cat’s paw. I will contact my father and make sure my brother is still under guard, but I do not believe this is of his doing.”

“Clint? Natasha?” Bruce’s voice was gentle. He had seated himself in a nearby chair, his posture deliberately relaxed. “Can you tell us anything about what happened?”

Natasha shook her head, but it was Clint who answered. “Don’t remember. It got dark. It was quiet, and then there was a flash of blue light and a loud noise. We were in the woods and it was just us. And then the lady came and got us and flew us here.”

“Was the noise like a bang?”

“It was a hum. Like a big bee.”

“It went like this,” said Natasha, and in a true little voice, sang out the note. From the other side of the room, Tony froze momentarily, then bolted over, pulling out his phone and jabbing at it until he got to its record function.

“Do that again, Natasha,” he coaxed, and she sang the note out again. He turned to Bruce, who was also looking alert. “Now there’s something I can hang my hat on. I’ll be in Lab 4. Come find me if you get anything more out of them. C’mon, Bruce, I need your gigantic throbbing brain for this one. Send Jane up when she gets back.” He dashed out of the room. Bruce got up with an apologetic smile and followed him out.

Natasha, slightly sticky with jam, was slumping against Clint. He put a protective arm around her.

“These two need a hot bath, some dinner, and then bed,” said Thor. “We can question them on the morrow, when they have recovered themselves somewhat.”

“Do we put them in their own bedrooms?” asked Steve. “It doesn’t seem right. Won’t it be strange? They’ll be lost in the rooms of adult selves they don’t know.”

“Not to mention all the weapons stashed in discreet locations,” said Pepper. “No, I figured that was a bad idea. There’s a guest bedroom near mine. It’s got a pair of beds in it that will work for them. Separating them doesn’t feel right - this must be weird enough for them as it is.” She looked at the pair of kids, the corner of her mouth quirking as if the strangeness of the situation was finally starting to sink in for her as well. “Right now, they need baths. I can take Natasha.”

“I will escort young Clint to my bathing chamber for his ablutions,” said Thor. He cocked his head and asked Clint, “Will that be all right? The bathtub is large enough to float a navy.”

“Yeah, I guess,” said Clint, a trifle dubiously. “I don’t know what ‘blutions are, but I know how to take a bath. I don’t need help.”

“It will merely be a matter of showing you the controls and where the soap and towels are. I do not wish for a scalding. Or a flood.”

By this point, Darcy and Jane had returned, each clutching a comical number of shopping bags. Darcy sat down next to Natasha and reached into a bag, pulling out a fuzzy grey knit cap topped with a pair of cat ears. Pink bobbles dangled from the ties.

“I got you the best thing ever!” She tugged it onto Natasha’s head, and then pulled out a matching one in a larger size, putting it on. “We match!”

“I couldn’t talk her out of it,” said Jane.

Natasha looked suspicious, but one hand crept up to pat her head, feeling the cat ears. She thought for a moment, and then declared, “Ok.”

“Attagirl,” said Darcy. Whipping out her phone, she snapped a photo, and showed it to Natasha, who smiled back at her own image. “Man, this is going to be awesome blackmail material when you’re a grownup again.”

“Not now, Darcy,” said Pepper. “Let’s go get that bath, Natasha. Then some dinner if you want, or right to bed if you’re too tired.” Natasha allowed Pepper to pick her up, and looked back at the group over Pepper’s shoulder as she was carried off. Clint watched her with concern.

Thor noticed, and rumbled reassuringly, “Fear not, young Clint. Ms. Potts will make sure she is cared for. Let us go. I believe Jane has clothing more adequate to your needs than this paltry stuff. We will regroup afterwards.” Jane picked up several of the bags, and the three of them made their way to the elevator, to descend the several floors to Thor’s suite of rooms.

Steve and Darcy looked at each other, the cat hat still perched on Darcy’s head. “My life used to be dull, you know?” she said. “Want to help me make cocoa and some dinner for our formerly-adult-now-tiny-child-through-mysterious-means coworkers? Because I don’t know what else to do.”

Steve sighed. “I think that’s probably a good idea.”

******

About an hour later, everyone had regrouped in one of the more lived-in rooms of the Tower, a space that generally served as a tv room since it had a great couch for napping and set of overstuffed chairs to lounge on. A freshly scrubbed Clint, his hair still spiky and damp, sat on the floor shoveling mac and cheese into his mouth until Steve, concerned about a possible choking incident, got him to slow down. Natasha’s hair was drying into a halo of curls around her head. She was in a pair of flannel pyjamas with blue bunnies, and topped off her ensemble with the cat hat. Darcy was helping her with her own bowl of mac and cheese, as well as a cut up turkey burger. 

The two children had adapted to their situation with remarkable aplomb. Maybe it was easier, speculated Pepper to herself, that they didn’t really have any memory of who they were - imagine having to tell two children that their parents were dead or, worse yet, unknown. Pepper had only the smallest concept of where Natasha and her skills had sprung from, but she doubted it involved a puppy and a white picket fence. Neither was it one to try to explain to a confused little girl. As for Clint, beyond his origins in Iowa or Oklahoma or something, all Pepper knew was it somehow involved a circus, which seemed just as dicy.

Tony and Bruce had emerged from the lab, and were conferring with Jane quietly in one corner. Every once in a while, an arcane phrase would float out, things like “generating a temporal rift” and “unresolvable atomic acceleration.” Tony was gesturing wildly with his hands. Jane and Bruce wore matching skeptical expressions as they listened.

Pepper made her way over to them.

“Any ideas?” she said in a low voice.

“Oh, lots of ideas,” said Jane. “But none of them seem to lead anywhere towards getting them back to their previous states.”

“And nothing so far that we could try safely,” said Bruce.

“We have two possible avenues,” said Tony. “We figure this out on our own, using our resources and whatever SHIELD can provide.”

“Or?” asked Pepper.

“Or we find whoever did this to them and make them undo it.”

“So we do both, I think. And hope one of the two options pans out. Otherwise...”

The three of them looked over at Clint, who had finished his bowl of pasta and was now perched on the arm of the chair Thor sat in. He was making faces at Natasha, who threw a sofa pillow at him.

“Otherwise, we do it the long way. Only another what, ten years?”

“The Avenger’s Homeschooling Initiative. Fury will shit bricks.”

*****

Thor had scooped up one child in each arm and toted them off to bed. As he left the room, Pepper commented about how good he was with kids to Jane, who had nodded with a smile. “If nothing else comes out of this, I’ve gotten to see what a good dad he’ll make. Which wasn’t something I had ever really thought about, but...”

“Are you...?”

“No! Not yet. But maybe. Possibly. Probably. Eventually.” Jane’s cheeks were touched with pink.

Pepper smiled. “Well, it’s a strange way to find out, but I’d say you have nothing to worry about.” They followed behind Thor, laughing back at Natasha’s echoing giggles as she was bounced along on his shoulder.

Darcy tagged along behind them, and dragged Steve, and eventually Bruce and Tony followed as well. Thor suggested a bedtime tale, and Darcy pleaded for the Three Billy Goats Gruff. It turned into perhaps the most interesting rendition of the story ever told, with Thor questioning what kind of species of troll would live under a bridge, as clearly trolls were cave-dwellers, Tony instructing JARVIS to provide clip-clop over the bridge and splashing water sound effects, and Clint describing in epic detail how he would have battled the trolls if he were one of the billy goats.

“...an I’d put my head down and I’d back up really far and then I’d run really fast and I’d hit the troll with my horns and he’d go flying and he’d land in the water probably, and he’d be drownded and float away and DIE...”

This caused Jane to get a fit of the giggles, resulting in Pepper getting her a glass of water, resulting in Natasha demanding a glass of water for herself, and then a trip to the bathroom, and then finally the lights were off and the majority of the assembly had been shooed out the door. Both kids had fallen asleep like kittens, all active wriggling one minute, unconsciousness the next. Natasha still wore her eared hat, and was holding a teddy bear almost as large as she was - another thing Darcy had been unable to resist. Clint had his bow tucked under the covers next to him.

When Tony (sent by Pepper) checked in on them a couple of hours later, Clint had migrated onto the foot of Natasha’s bed, where he was curled like a squirrel, sound asleep. Natasha’s feet were tucked up against his ear. Tony grinned at the sight, and pulled a blanket over him.

“Cute little boogers, aren’t you?” he said softly, and left, closing the door gently behind him.

*****

It became clear that while neither Clint nor Natasha had any memories of their adult selves, certain things were still the same. Clint could climb like a monkey, as the adults discovered when he went missing sometime the next afternoon. Natasha and JARVIS ratted him out, and he was pulled, protesting and filthy, from the depths of an air duct.

“I was EXPLORING,” he roared.

“You’re going to explore a time-out,” said Pepper.

Natasha, on the surface an angelic little being, had no compunctions about locked doors, and an uncanny ability to get through them. The third time Tony had to fetch her from inside various suit prototypes in his workshop, he threatened to show her how to fly without a suit. Steve intervened, and took her off to the training room. He took Clint as well, hoping to keep him entertained before he thought of anything new.

Watching the pair of them use the climbing wall probably took a few years off his life. It didn’t matter that they were securely harnessed in, with triple-redundant safety measures monitored by Steve and JARVIS both - nor did the fact that he could, if necessary, catch them out of the air if something happened. Their glee at being turned loose on the wall made him wonder if there was some sort of tiny lingering seed of their adult selves in there somewhere, but here and now the sight of a five-year-old girl dangling upside down two stories up, hanging improbably by only her toes and the tips of her tiny fingers made Steve clench divots into his palms. When Clint discovered that swinging out and back on the end of his tether like a trapeze artist was big fun, it knocked a few more months off of Steve’s lifespan. He was never more relieved to tell someone that it was dinner time.

They had a surprise guest at the table. Fury was there, conferring with Tony, Bruce, and Jane. All four heads swiveled as Steve walked in with the kids. Steve was called over, and Bruce took his place, steering the two over to the bathroom for handwashing.

While they were out of the room, Fury turned to Tony. “Tell me you’ve found a way to get my agents back, Stark. Before they hit puberty.”

“It’s been less than a day,” Tony protested. “And if we screw this up, things could go really badly. I’m not blowing up a kid because you rushed me.”

Jane shuddered. “We’re exploring a few avenues, Director Fury,” she said diplomatically. “About the only thing we know is that it definitely isn’t Asgardian in origin. Beyond that, we’re still working on it.

Bruce returned, trailed by the two now-much-cleaner kids. Fury studied his pint-sized agents with a sour expression and pushed his chair back from the table. “Work faster.”

****

In the end, they didn’t find the answer - the answer found them. 

Five days had passed, days which included one trip to the zoo, where Clint fell in love with penguins, a trip to a museum bearing sketchpads (led by Steve, who was determined to find something not quite so death-defying as entertainment), Jane turning woeful over the introduction of chicken nuggets and dipping sauces to Thor, and the acquisition of an insane number of toys (Darcy had not, Tony discovered, given him back his credit card.) It wasn’t all playtime - there had been several long evening discussions about ways to bend either biology or time, as well as a lot of fiddling around with various prototypes in the lab. There was also another frantic building-wide hunt for Clint. This time he was found inside one of Tony’s vintage Mustangs, possibly about ten minutes away from figuring how to hotwire the thing. There was also coaxing Natasha down from the climbing wall she had decided to tackle on her own (“I put on the harness right,” she said, indignant). Worn out from all the excitement, everyone in the building, even night-owl Tony, was sound asleep.

The peace was broken by an alarm and the worried sound of JARVIS’s voice echoing through the bedroom.

“Sir, there are intruders in the building. Intruders in the building, west corridor, twenty heat signatures. Beginning countermeasures.”

Tony and Pepper were awake immediately. “Pepper, safe room, now” snapped Tony.

“The kids,” she protested.

“I’ll get them. JARVIS, report.”

Pepper was still arguing, so he took matters into his own hands, literally shoving her through the door of the safe room accessed through the closet. The door hissed closed behind her, cutting off an indignant, “Hey! Tony, I...”

“They are moving in a tightly clustered group, sir. They have weapons. I’m also detecting an energy signature of an unknown source. Estimate five minutes until they reach the far end of this floor, which will put them twenty meters from the children’s room. I regret that they are positioned to prevent you from accessing your armor for the moment. I have instructed the children to climb under their beds and wait for your arrival.” A long pause, and then, “They are deploying gas in the vicinity of Dr. Banner’s quarters. Preliminary analysis indicates a sedative.”

“Great, they know where our secret weapon lives.” Tony pulled open the door and sprinted down the hallway. Opening the door to the children’s bedroom, he saw two worried faces peering out from under the bed. “C’mon, guys,” he said, trying to sound calm. “Time to get a move on.”

Clint slithered out, Natasha right behind him. He held her hand tightly. “Are there bad guys?” he asked, sounding caught somewhere between scared and excited. “Are you gonna get them?”

“Going to do my best, buddy. Listen to me carefully. We get separated, you listen to JARVIS, ok? The computer voice? There are safe rooms through the building, he’ll get you to one.”

Clint nodded. “If I were bigger I could shoot them,” he said, wistfully looking back at the bow that sat on his bed.

“Time for that later, champ. Let’s go find the others.”

They slid out into the hallway, Clint and Natasha imitating the way Tony hugged the wall. He shooed them in front of him, and they rounded the corner, waiting for him to catch up. “JARVIS, report status of Thor, Banner, and Rogers,” he hissed. “And give us a direction.”

“Dr. Banner has not left his quarters. Thor and Captain Rogers are moving through the building, and inform me that they will engage the intruders on the 19th floor. Sir, they’re deploying an explosive device, move right move right...”

Tony flung himself to the side. JARVIS’s voice was lost as the world went up in a violent WHOOMP and a fountain of bright light. Tony’s body flew sideways, banging painfully against a doorframe. Shadowy figures swarmed upwards out of the new hole in the floor.

“RUN,” Tony screamed, waving at Clint and Natasha. The turn in the hallway had protected them from the blast, and they were looking back at him anxiously. Clint hesitated, but Natasha grabbed his hand and pulled, and the two of them disappeared.

Tony coughed, and the world swam and grew dark. He slumped, unconscious.

****

Four little feet scampered down the hall, away from all the noise and the scary figures in the dark and the smoke. “We gotta hide,” Clint muttered as they ran. “Gotta hide, gotta hide. Gotta go up. Up is safer.” They skidded around another corner and found themselves in an office - desks, a computer, file cabinets. Looking up, Clint spotted a vent very much like the one he had already explored, leading into the tangle of ductwork that was the HVAC system.

He clambered onto the desk and helped Natasha up. The vent was just within reach but it was secured with four screws. “I need a...need a screwdriver,” he gasped, scrabbling at the cover.

Natasha tugged up the hem of her pyjama top and fished out a screwdriver. It was a particularly nice one she had liberated from Tony’s lab the second time she had snuck in. He hadn’t noticed its absence yet, and he especially didn’t know that it was also what allowed her to get into his lab the third time. And the fourth. And the fifth.

“Here,” she said, handing it to him. “JARVIS?”

“Yes,” said the house’s voice, muted so they could barely hear it.

“Can you talk to us when we’re inside the walls?”

“No,” said JARVIS. “No speakers or voice sensors have been placed inside the ductwork. If I talk to you, I will have to amplify the volume of my voice.”

“Amplify?”

“I’ll have to talk to you very loudly and the bad guys will hear me,” clarified JARVIS. “I will be able to see you, but not speak to you.”

Clint had the screws out and was tugging the screen off the vent. “Where should we go?” he asked.

“The invaders are well-armed, but this is a large building and I do not believe they have the means to secure it entirely. I would advise remaining in hiding until they have been defeated.”

“Where are Thor and Captain America and Dr. Banner?”

“Thor and Captain Rogers have made contact with the invaders. Several of my sensors in the area have been shorted out by an electrical surge, so a full report is impossible at this time. Dr. Banner seems to be in his bedroom, possibly drugged.”

“Drugged?”

“He has been made to sleep,” said JARVIS.

“OK. We’re going to go into the vents now. We’ll try and find you later.”

“I understand. When you emerge, I will direct you to the nearest safe room.”

Clint lifted Natasha up to the opening of the vent, and she pulled herself inside easily. It was a little too high for him to reach, and Natasha too little to help pull him up, but a pair of dictionaries stacked on top of each other gave him enough of a boost. He jumped, caught the edge of the vent, and was beginning to pull himself in when the door to the room made a cracking sound and fell inward. A person stepped inside, dressed in clothing that concealed him from head to toe, as well as a close-fitting helmet. He caught sight of them immediately.

“Sir, I have eyes on the children,” he barked, and lunged forward, jumping onto the desk and grabbing Clint around his waist. Clint yelped, and a second later the man holding him screamed even more loudly as Natasha, half-hanging out of the vent, sunk her teeth into his ear. He fell backwards, trailing blood, and released his grip on Clint out of pure reflex. Clint and Natasha dove into the vent, moving as quickly as possible until all the angry yelling behind them faded away.

They crawled for what seemed like hours, navigating tricky turns and drops as best they could. Once, a loud boom echoed through the building, making the duct they were sitting in rattle.

“Hope that was Thor hitting them with his hammer,” said Clint. Natasha nodded in agreement, her expression fierce.

They eventually found themselves on the other side of a large vent set closer to the floor. The screwdriver didn’t work from that side, so Clint lay down and kicked at. It took multiple blows, and by the time it grudgingly bent and clattered to the floor, he was panting and tired. They crawled out into a dark room, and Natasha whispered, “JARVIS, can you hear me?”

No reply.

“JARVIS?”

“Maybe the building’s broken, and he can’t hear us,” offered Clint.

“Don’t like that,” said Natasha. “We need a plan.”

“Tony was talking to JARVIS. He said Captain Rogers and Thor were ok. But they’re somewhere in the building and I don’t know how to find them.”

“He said they did something to Dr. Banner. Made him sleep. Maybe we can wake him up.”

“Can he fight?” wondered Clint.

“I think so,” said Natasha. “Mr. Stark said something about him being an angry green guy. And something about punching people. I don’t know why the green part, but if he can punch people he can help.”

“Ok. His room is on the twelfth floor. Let’s go find him.”

They had emerged on an empty floor, still mostly bare studs, an exposed ceiling, and concrete floor.. At the edge of the room was the elevator, which they approached cautiously. Another muffled thump-whump was loud enough to make them both startle, but after a second’s pause, they both realized it wasn’t coming from anywhere near them.

Natasha pushed the button and the elevator opened. They stepped inside and hit the button for the twelfth floor.

“Can you hear us now, JARVIS?” asked Clint as the doors slid shut.

There was a crackling noise full of static. “...slight damage...localized...Thor...”

“He’s broken,” said Natasha.

“JARVIS, listen to me! We’re going to get Dr. Banner. Are there any bad guys on the twelfth floor?”

“...signs...BZZT...twelfth floor clear but...BZZT.” The voice fell silent in a final burst of noise.

“He said it was clear!”

“Clear but, he said,” corrected Natasha. “Clear but what?”

The elevator doors slid open, revealing a dark hallway. Clint and Natasha exchanged looks. “I guess we’ll see.”

They stepped cautiously into the hallway. Only a dim emergency light illuminated things, but it was enough for them to get their bearings. They turned left, and passed through the glass doors that denoted the beginning of Dr. Banner’s rooms. A faint acrid odor still hung in the air, and Natasha wrinkled her nose.

“Bet that’s the sleepy gas.”

“Don’t breathe it in, Natasha.” They pulled their pyjama tops up over their noses and mouths, and continued inwards, looking for Dr. Banner’s bedroom.

A shout rang out. “They’re here, they’re here, we have eyes on the children.” Five bad guys emerged behind them. Someone yelled, “Shoot them, you idiots,” and a chatter of gunfire sprayed out, but Clint and Natasha were already through the bedroom door. Natasha, now familiar with most of the tower’s locking mechanisms, slapped the button that locked the door behind them.

****  
Bruce was having bad dreams. Smells in the air, the Hulk raging but unable to say anything, a heavy weight on his chest. He groaned and turned his head. There was a sharp sting on his cheek, then another, then another.

“Dr. Banner! Dr. Banner! You have to wake up!”

The weight on his chest turned out to be Natasha, kneeling on top of him, slapping his face.

“Aaahhh.” Bruce groaned again, and brought his hands up to rub his face. “What the...Natasha? What’s happening?”

Just at that moment, Clint dumped an entire glass of cold water on him, a sure-fire technique learned from an afternoon of watching Looney Toons.

“AAAAHHH,” sputtered Bruce. “Clint, Natasha, what the hell...heck...what are you doing?”

“Bad guys, Dr. Banner,” said Clint. “They got Mr. Stark and we don’t know about the others and they’re coming, they chased us and they’re really close.”

Natasha bent forward, nearly nose-to-nose with Bruce, and said with furious intent, “I DON’T LIKE THEM. Make them go away.”

Bruce sat up, tipping Natasha off of him. He rubbed at his face furiously, and shook himself. “Gas, or something...idiot, he should have woken up. Must have been just mild enough not to trigger...”

“Dr. Banner!” said Clint more loudly. “You can punch people, right?” A fair question, as Bruce was not, at that moment, looking his best. But he rubbed his face again, and looked at Clint.

“Punch people? Yeah, I think I can probably do that. They chased you here?” At their nods, he stood up.

“ I’m going to go out there. You two stay put, ok? Don’t come out, it might be scary and I don’t want to scare you.”

“Ok,” they said in unison. Natasha elbowed Clint. “Told you he could punch people.” Clint still looked a little doubtful.

Dr. Banner walked to the door, and shut it gently behind him. There was a long, long, long pause, and then an echoing roar, followed by the high-pitched sounds of terrified men screaming and running away.

“That got ‘em,” said Clint, with great satisfaction.

They lay down in the warm center of the bed, pulled the blankets up, and within seconds were both asleep.

*****

“Why the hell haven’t you fixed them?” Fury was pacing angrily, back and forth, in front of a machine that hummed softly as it sat on the lab’s countertop. It had been liberated from the group of attackers and Tony was certain it held the key to Natasha and Clint’s transformation. The puzzle was how - back-engineering the thing had proved to be unexpectedly difficult.

“Figured you’d want us to make sure it did what it was supposed to before we, you know, blasted two children with its potentially evil rays.” Tony’s snide riposte was half-hearted, as he was tracing out the diagram of a circuit in glowing golden light in mid-air. He turned aside to confer with Jane and Bruce, dragging the hologram through the air so they could see what he was looking at. Jane shook her head.

“I still don’t know, Tony. We’re guessing about a lot of things here.”

“Fury, you have the men we captured over at HQ, right? I think it’s time we spoke with them more directly about their little toy.”

*****

The mastermind behind the tower raid was not very impressive in appearance, especially in an orange jumpsuit. He was slumped on the bench of his cell, a thoroughly beaten man.

“It should have worked,” he said sadly. “It was a great plan. Take out the two most dangerous SHIELD agents. Free up some elbow room for my operation to grow in Eastern Europe. The two of them, working on their own, cost me eighty million dollars and fifty of my best men, just last year. I had to get rid of them.”

“Your master plan was turning my agents into kids?” Fury stood over the man like an angry god.  
Tony and Bruce standing on the other side of a two-way mirror, grinned at each other. This wouldn’t take long.

“If we had managed to hit them with the ray twice, they would have been stuck as kids permanently. Easier to kill, but if we didn’t, no problem. The Black Widow and Hawkeye would have been neutralized forever. I didn’t even know how the tech worked, I just bought it from the guy who did. He was trying to figure out some commercial usage for it, stupid bastard. No vision.”

“Bought it?” Fury leaned in.

“Ok, ok!” The man leaned back, away from Fury. “ I killed him and took the machine.”

Fury made a small growling noise in the back of his throat, and the man tried to sink further backwards into the wall.

“Hope you got the owner’s manual. Tell me now. How do we return them back to normal?”

“Just wait a few days,” the man squeaked. “Process reverses itself if you only get one shot in. That’s all we were able to do. They took out my men before the effects of the first shot took hold. No second shot like they had been instructed. That’s why we had to make another attempt at them, even if it meant attacking Avengers Tower. We had to hit them with the ray a second time before the effects of the first one wore off. It was such a great plan. It should have worked.”

Fury turned on his heel and left the room.

*****

Tony’s estate in Montauk was beautifully secluded, so nobody was around to gawk at the motley gathering of assorted superheroes in swim togs and beach gear.

What followed was one of those glorious beach days that linger in memory, full of sunshine and sand and the tang of salt. Tony was pretty sure a perfect beach day had never been part of either Clint or Natasha’s memories from their first childhoods. The idea of giving them a few good childhood memories on this second go-round turned out to be strangely important to him. He discussed it with Pepper, trying to keep it dispassionate and practical. Not that Pepper was fooled. She listened to his justifications about the beach house being less dangerous than the Tower, and anyway it was a good time of year to be at the beach, and didn't they all need a break, and opted not to tease him.

“It’s a lovely plan. I’m sure everyone will want to be a part of it.”

There was swimming to be had, Pepper smearing gobs of sunblock over Natasha’s pale skin and insisting she wear a hat. Clint had a boogie board and was riding what were fairly small waves, but you wouldn’t have known it from his screams of excitement. Darcy and Jane put up a volleyball net and played in what Darcy called fair pairs - Darcy and Steve vs Jane and Thor, sometimes trading partners so that it was Darcy bouncing cheerfully by Thor’s side while Steve and Jane plotted plans of attack.

Tony found a giant floaty alligator for Natasha and towed her through the water. Bruce showed both the kids and Darcy how to bait a hook and cast a line. The wriggling fish were held up with pride, then released. Darcy, making an ick face, made Natasha bait the hook for her, saying that squid was great as calamari but not so exciting to touch raw and half-frozen. Natasha rolled her eyes and obliged. An impromptu game of chicken involving Natasha on Thor’s shoulders and Clint on Steve’s seemed to involve more splashing and cat-calling than anything else.

There was still time for sitting with a book under the giant pavilion Pepper had arranged for, stocked with comfortable wicker chairs and an array of snacks and reading material if you wanted a little break from rolling around in the surf. The house had an opulent outdoor shower, handy for washing off the sand so you could go back out and get covered in it again.

As the sun set, Thor built a fire, and Steve produced s’mores fixings along with an array of painstakingly whittled sticks for the marshmallow toasting process. Clint knew what they were, but the art of the s’more had to be explained to Natasha, who declared that they were a wonderful thing and covered herself in melted chocolate to prove it.

The rest of the Avengers sat in various attitudes around the fire, Pepper leaning against Tony, Darcy and Steve talking languidly with each other, Thor helping Jane perfectly char her marshmallow so the center would be gooey, molten perfection. Bruce was showing Natasha and Clint the trick of it, and trying not to let anyone get burned in the process. Eventually, satisfied that they wouldn’t set themselves on fire, he went to sit down next to Pepper and Tony. He leaned back against Pepper’s legs, and she ruffled his hair in a friendly manner.

“Good on you, back at the Tower,” said Tony. “You only blew out a couple of windows while you were throwing those guys out of the building. I commend you for your relatively light hand when it came to destroying parts of my very expensive tower.”

“Don’t let him twit you, Bruce,” said Pepper. “You saved Clint and Natasha’s lives. If it weren’t for you they might have been kids forever...which is some kind of hell I can’t even imagine. The idea of getting older but staying stuck as a kid gives me all kinds of heebees.” She kissed Bruce lightly on the forehead, and he flushed, which made Tony laugh.

“Plus, when she’s a grown-up again, I’m getting some self-defense lessons from her,” Pepper said. “No more shoving me into safe rooms.”

Tony opened his mouth to argue, and she stuffed a marshmallow into it before he could retort. “Maybe weapons training, too.” she said. “From her and Maria. I think it’s important.”

Tony swallowed his marshmallow. “I agree. Grudgingly. But I’m shoring up the security system in the tower anyway.”

Pepper smiled at him. “I’m ok with that, too.”

Later, Clint and Natasha decided to go explore the edge of the surf, and got permission on the grounds that they stay within sight of the group. They scampered off, hand-in-hand, casting long shadows that looked more like the people they were...the people they would, at some point soon, be again.

Darcy watched them go and said sadly, “Is it going to be weird when they’re back to adults? I mean...we’ve seen them as little kids. Cute, innocent little kids that nothing bad has happened to yet. And then, the whammy wears off and poof, they’re going to be badass assassins again. It’s going to be really strange, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know,” said Bruce. “We don’t know how much they’ll remember, either.”

Darcy pulled out her phone and called up the photo of wee Natasha, laughing in a cat-eared hat. “I thought this would be funny, but it’s not really, not anymore. It’s just sad, like...”

“They were our kids for a week, more or less,” said Steve. “It’s going to be strange.”

“It will be difficult not having the two mites about,” said Thor. “Children make a home happy.” Jane may have turned pink again, or perhaps it was just the firelight.

“Maybe this has been good for them, too,” said Tony. 

“Maybe,” said Bruce, “We gave them a little bit of something back.”

While the adults talked, Natasha and Clint ran back and forth at the edge of the wet sand, splashing, finding shells, letting the cold water just brush their toes before it retreated back away again. Peals of childish laughter rang out, just audible above the booming of the surf.


End file.
